Response to Pauline's "Week 10 Improv 1"
I am really excited that you decided to use this poem as an improv. It has to be one of the poems in our anthology that I enjoyed the most.
You've taken a really interesting and modern route with this that I believe works really well. I enjoyed the last two lines of the first stanza, perhaps the most, because who couldn't relate to that in some way or another. I also enjoyed the first six lines of the second stanza equally as well for much of the same reason. I was a bit thrown off by the last line, it seems abrupt. It may be that if it the language was soften a bit it may work. Of course just as any of the improvs we have worked on over the semester it might help to take it out of the improv and expand your own ideas of what might benefit this draft the most.
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