Peer Response 1 Week 9

Response to Pauline's "Free Entry Week 9"
The first line of this draft is a nice display of what’s to come. I really enjoyed the new and innovative way that the draft describes “ice” as “fuzz” because I had never quite thought of it in that way but it certainly does have a “fuzz” quality to it. I’m not sure if there is a difference here, but would “callouses” need to be changed to “calluses” because of the “es,” or is it the same? I enjoyed the story line that the draft includes and the shocking, somewhat disturbing value of the final line. However,I wondered if “intermingling” could be taken out by re-arranging the line since it's shown. In addition, I wondered if “anonymous” was necessary, it certainly sounds good but it tripped me up slightly during the read. Great draft Pauline! I look forward to your next.