In response to Jenna's Week 3 Improv Notes Two
I liked this draft in 3200, but I completely understand your desire to groom it. I hate prose poems as well. I completely agree with the same lines Sydney requested you keep, in addition to these:
“These unidentified friendly obstructions constrict and pull my head down to rest on their shoulders, because I am so sad, and suffocation is the answer.”
“I hear that you’re watching over me always now. So I should never feel alone, I don’t like that, because I now fleetingly glance around before stepping out of the shower, now I can’t make a joke at your expense.”
I really admire the humor found in this draft and don’t want that to be lost. Hope to see it soon!
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