Peer Response 1 Week 3

Response to Emmanuel's Improv 1, Week 3

Really nice improv, Emmanuel.  I think you have done a nice job at taking another poet’s work and using it as a runway for your own.  I especially like the use of “prickly” and “blanketed” shortly after.  It creates this awesome juxtaposing of unexpected touch sensation.  At least that was my experience.  You might consider amping up lines 3 and 4, as they seem to fall short compared to the rest of this draft.  The last two lines are by far my favorites and I hope that no matter what you decide to do with this draft in the future, those lines stay.  You might consider breaking Walcott’s form, now that you have a start on a draft.  I’m sure you could get some really good stuff from expanding it.